Thursday, May 8, 2008
So this is what I have been telling myself lately, I was just about to get off my prednisone when I had another bowel obstruction and was able to stay in the hospital for another lovely few days. The doctors decided that I was having bowel obstructions because I am steriod dependent, since I was almost off my prednisone my body started freaking out and shut my bowels down. Although they have never heard of this happening before they are pretty sure that is what my problem is...nice. To be perfectly honest though I would rather them make something crazy up like this than tell me they have no idea whats wrong with me and leave it with that, so lets stick with the steroid dependent theory. Anyway, so I am back up on my steroids and tapering ever so slowly, it will be months before I am off. At this point it seems I will never get to have another baby, but I know that's not true, Anna is just going to be much older than what I had hoped for by the time the next baby arrives, and I am sure that in the end I will understand why I was blesssed with these marvelous experiences....I hope. I just feel like my little bucket of faith is about empty and I can't do this anymore, so I am really trying to get mysef back on track and in a place that I need to be. Feel free to give me lectures on how everything will be ok and the Lord has a plan, every little reminder helps!