Thursday, May 8, 2008

I love Prednisone

So this is what I have been telling myself lately, I was just about to get off my prednisone when I had another bowel obstruction and was able to stay in the hospital for another lovely few days. The doctors decided that I was having bowel obstructions because I am steriod dependent, since I was almost off my prednisone my body started freaking out and shut my bowels down. Although they have never heard of this happening before they are pretty sure that is what my problem is...nice. To be perfectly honest though I would rather them make something crazy up like this than tell me they have no idea whats wrong with me and leave it with that, so lets stick with the steroid dependent theory. Anyway, so I am back up on my steroids and tapering ever so slowly, it will be months before I am off. At this point it seems I will never get to have another baby, but I know that's not true, Anna is just going to be much older than what I had hoped for by the time the next baby arrives, and I am sure that in the end I will understand why I was blesssed with these marvelous experiences....I hope. I just feel like my little bucket of faith is about empty and I can't do this anymore, so I am really trying to get mysef back on track and in a place that I need to be. Feel free to give me lectures on how everything will be ok and the Lord has a plan, every little reminder helps!


Jenny said...

It really will be OK! I had two more sweet babies, just not in the timeline I had decided upon!

Prednisone is the most evil drug in the world. But also a heaven sent relief sometimes. I also have a love/hate relationship with the nasty stuff!

I have a million questions for you. Send me an email and we can start talking! I'm so excited that I randomly found your blog!

Jenny Staggs

Anonymous said...

Once again I will tell you how AMAZING you are and how I totally look up to you. Your positive attitude is contagious and I love being around you. Honestly, I know we haven't hung out much but I am ALWAYS wondering about you and hoping you are feeling okay. I am truly going to miss you and seeing your CUTIE pie Anna. I know you will get to have more babies, why else would Heavenly Father have let you find a house with FOUR bedrooms AND a basement!! Because like I already said, I know they will get filled soon!

Amy said...

hmm lets see. In my state just be glad that you have a baby! I am sorry that life is so hard but that that doesn't kill us makes us stronger! what?! who in the world came up with that dumb much as I hate it but it seems to beat us down but always in the end we get stronger. So hang in there and feel free to come visit anytime to get your mind off things. Plus we'll be at least up into Utah in august we believe. You're amazing and I have the pictures to prove it!

cshel said...

You are awesome. Just wanted to send you my hugs and support. Just keep your eternal perspective...and keep the faith. You have an amazing husband and awesome little girl. :-)